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She ended up kissing me for the first time after asking me to go out for something to eat.We hooked up a few times on and off, and now we've been dating for almost a year. So when a guy I’m interested in tells me that he’s a “bisexual,” shouldn’t I run? But once I got the initial panic out of the way (OK, I called my friend and frantically yelled, “911! I’d met him a week or so prior, when I was in town from Chicago, visiting a friend of mine. Naturally, I’m hypersensitive to red flags these days. Granted, when the guy came out of his demi-closet to me, I didn’t know him very well.
Americans have a well-documented tendency to drastically overestimate the percentage of queer folks among us.Although being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean you’re equally attracted to multiple genders, it does seem feasible that these sorts of concerns could push a person with fluid attractions in the direction deemed more socially acceptable.Although there’s a dearth of research into whether these factors are actually prompting bisexuals to choose relationships that appear “straight” to the outside world, there’s no shortage of research revealing that bisexuals live under uniquely intense pressures within the LGBTQ community: In addition to facing heightened risks for cancer, STIs, and heart disease, bisexuals also experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse, and are significantly more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors or attempt suicide than heterosexuals, gays, or lesbians." But unfortunately for my ex as well as for all the other bisexual men and women out there, the straight and gay people who use a bisexual identity as a "halfway house" contribute to the widespread negative notion that anyone who identifies as bi is actually a flimsy, half-hearted gay man or lesbian.It's one reason why so many bisexuals — my ex included — feel so excluded from the LGBT movement.
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When I started dating a woman for the first time after years of happily dating men, I had a go-to joke ready for when I was called upon to explain my sexual orientation to the confused: “I’m half gay.